what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
