and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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