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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
