Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.