Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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