do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
