you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
