i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.