i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
