You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
