what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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