did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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