Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
