Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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