YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
