Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So vagazzling was a success
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
