the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
