please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize