my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
