How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
