do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
