I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
