last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
try to milk me bitch
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