You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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