I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
