I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
