she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Boobs are out for the taking
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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