He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
