just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
as a side note pls kill me
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
