i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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