omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
accomplished twins. life is a go
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Randomize
