Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
