You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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