Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
