i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
