My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
