that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize