So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
