Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
