So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I would ride that face into the sunset
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
