too bad you live with your parents still
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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