Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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