Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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