Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We need to rekindle our bromance
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
