currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Send help, water and tortillas.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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