The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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