Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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