I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
