if you like me you must not know who I am
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
tell me about the fingering
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