dude i'm inner monologue high
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
