I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
