ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
