i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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