good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
