So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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