Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
