Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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