Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
