Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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