she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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