ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
