i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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