I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
