He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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