yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
