Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Randomize
